In Mom's Heels

A shoe obsessed mom's Weight Watchers Journey with Celiac Disease

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2017 Year in Review

It’s been a few busy months since I posted. I have about 30 drafts that I was too busy to finish. However, it’s after midnight on a Wednesday and I committed to finishing this one!

2017 was a rollercoaster year.

I started the year off on Weight Watchers, but after a 25 lb. weight loss, I convinced myself it wasn’t working. In all honesty, I feel like I sabotaged myself from a comment DH made. Excuses.

I’ve been helping my mom downsize and get her house prepared to sell – anyone looking for a beautifully remodeled 4,000 sq. ft. home in the GTA??

I feel like I’m finally in a good place at work. In 2018, I would like to do more professional and personal learning.

In August we drove to Atlantic City, NJ for a vacation with friends and their boys. The weather was amazing, the beach was amazing. I’d go back.

In October, my gym membership lapsed, and my DH and I went to Vegas with 2 other couple friends to celebrate our (the ladies) 40th birthdays this year. It was 2 weeks after the Vegas shooting. It was an emotional and heavy feeling to Vegas. We went to the Grand Canyon west tip and it was spectacular! I pulled my back 2 days before the trip and suffered for the next 10 weeks!!

My back is finally healed, and my kids sports take up 6 days a week. I feel like a blob. I’m exhausted all the time. I want to start back in the workouts. I really like lifting. It’s my happy place. I hate cardio. I may give the dreadmill a rest and start looking for HIIT workouts.

I joined a 12-week transformation challenge that my high school buddy Rob & his wife Michelle’s company, Trainers on Site is running. Wish me luck.

No resolutions for 2018. I have the type of personality that if I set a goal and didn’t meet it; I’d constantly beat myself up for it and add it to my list of failures and become depressed over it. I am always learning about myself, and trying to change how I see things about myself. I promote self-love & positive body-image to my baby girls, I need to practice what I preach.

Goodbye 2017. Thank you for the memories and life lessons. Cheers to a wonderful and adventurous 2018.




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Factory Reset

I admit I haven’t “worked out” or looked at any type of activity since the Foam Fest in July.

This week, I took time for me. The chores and renos at home can wait a couple of hours while I be selfish and go to a class.

Wednesday I went to the rec centre and hit the dreadmill for 20 mins of intervals (90 sec. running/2 min walking). I feared it would be harder to get back into running than it actually was during this 20 min run. Was it because I did it in intervals? I then joined a one hour “Burn ‘n’ Firm”. When it’s Linda, I LOVE (to hate) the class! I realize what doing nothing has done to my body. Besides becoming rounder, I lost some of that muscle. But I kept an assortment of different weights with me and decreased when I pushed to failure with one weight. I was tired. i never gave up. I never gave in. I wanted to. But I didn’t.

Thursday saw Bootcamp. It was HARD to do the circuit  after my workout from Wednesday.  I spent the rest of the week and weekend applying Voltaren to my arms and shoulders! I needed to do more work on my legs…next week.


I’m going to try a food journal – similar to Weight Watchers, but without counting points or macros or anything crazy like that. I want to see if I have a trend, what am I eating, when do I eat it, etc. Maybe seeing this I can start to cut back on the mindless / bored eating, make better choices, add a snack earlier so I don’t overeat later, etc. I mean, I know my eating is shite, but sometimes it’s the wake-up smack in the face you need.

My Apple Watch screen scrolls through my fave photos, I have the rec centre class schedule on it. No excuses!!

Cheers to hitting the reset button!



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tweezers and vagina plucking

I admit, I’ve been lazy recently. Lazy in terms of working out, but not in moving. Still moving.

psa-due-to-recent-setbacks-my-summer-beach-body-will-be-delayed-another-year-598c0I haven’t done laundry for a couple of weeks and am running out of clean clothes. I went on a scavenger hunt for pants and found capri’s in my closet that I haven’t worn since my father’s funeral in 2013. they weren’t “Plus” sized – and they FIT!!

Today, I went browsing in the mall at lunch. I wandered into a couple of stores to check out shorts; all my shorts are about 4 sizes too big! Yeah for me!

Except, ALL the shorts I found were knit or so short, I need tweezers and a 10x magnification mirror to pluck the fucking things out of my vagina.

I don’t always want to wear capris. Or ankle pants. Dresses & skirts are too short my liking. I wanted shorts. Long enough to come just above my knees. I couldn’t even find them long enough to cover my hoo-ha and butt-cheeks, let alone my legs.

I am a weird shaped plus person. I have this gut that is all loose skin that I can’t afford to have removed via tummy-tuck so I don’t fit most plus sized plants in the gut/hip/ass area. My calves/cankles are huge and most skinny jeans are too tight there. T-shirts, I don’t have large boobs to fill plus-sized shirts, but want them long enough to cover the loose skin/front butt bulge at the front. I wish my Pinterest closet were real *sigh*.

Designers – are you listening???? Do you need help? I can offer my services…can i get free clothes?? Will work for shoes!





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A Month Ago

A month ago, I was running the dreadmill 4-5x per week.

A month ago, I was lifting weights 4-5 x per week.

A month ago, I was weighing myself weekly.

A month ago, I was content.

A month ago, I got sick with the flu and then a cold.

I may finally have recovered from the nasty flu/cold where I honestly believed my body was rebelling against itself. Except in this past month, I have lifted weights twice, been on the dreadmill once and haven’t stepped on a scale. At all.

I’m still careful about what I eat…sort of.  All of those Easter chocolate caramels attacked me like the gnomes from the Goosebumps movie – I swear!E_build_sequence_ShowreelStills2k_v1.1005

Time to get off my ass and as Jane says, stop eating those “fuckin chips” like its going out of style, right?


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Ever had one of those days?

Ever have one of those days? Or in my case, months? Everything is irritating?

I know someone who walks everyday for an hour. They said to me that they didn’t think the walking was working. They also said they don’t eat any differently. I replied that could be the problem; They haven’t changed their eating habits. They said it doesn’t matter, with all the walking they’ve been doing, they should be losing one pound a week. I said why not add some weight lifting/training in. They said they didn’t want to build muscle before they lose the fat.  Now doesn’t that sound a little like which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I can relate though, although in the opposite way. I have changed my eating pattern (mostly) and am running/lifting weights/attending classes, and the scale has barely budged! Yes, I’m down 15 or so pounds (in 5 months!?), and the measurements are shrinking. I know I shouldn’t focus solely on the number on the scale that screams at me in red, YOU WEIGH HOW MUCH? Stupid judgmental scale. Discouraging and frustrating all at the same time. Yes, I’m about ready to give up.

AND, my dear people…notice how FRUSTRATED is spelled? It’s pronounced [fruhs-trey-tid] NOT FUSTRATED. Drive me insane.

I weighed in last week; down 0.4 lbs for a total of 16 lbs. I weighed in yesterday, up 0.5 lbs for a total of 15.5 lbs.  I’ve changed my workout routine recently with the help of a trainer. The lady at Weight Watchers told me to introduce more protein. Let’s try that this week and see if it makes a difference.



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Goodbye 2016; Year in Review (and Weight Watchers Week 16)

I did not go to my meeting this week. On purpose. I know when I go next week I’ll probably have undone all the good in this one week that took me 15 weeks to do. But today – today is January 1 and it’s the first page in my 365 page blank book to write my story.  What will my story look like? I’m not sure. It is my story, after all. I can re-write my future. Cause those ripples in time.

I look back on my 2016 year and think not a lot happened to make it stand out. I did spend some of this past year in the dark, mentally speaking. My depression was taking me to a very bleak place. I reached out and asked my doctor for help. If you know me, asking for help is like me not swearing in traffic. Very difficult.

I spent time with my family this year, swimming in the yard, playing with the kids.

Enjoying time with my husband as we went to Blue Jay games, hopping in the car to follow said Toronto Blue Jays to Cleveland. Going on our cruise.

I applied for a promotion at work and got it.

I’ve investigated my headaches (which have been great these past couple months).

Meeting new people and being able to call them friends.

Most of all, I think I found some of my confidence this year. I KNOW I’m not perfect, but I am damn good at what I do for a living. My kids seem to be decent human beings (most of the time).

After my dad passed away, I was petrified of my mom getting sick again. I didn’t know if I could handle it alone. However, when the inevitable happened back in March, I learned I CAN handle it. I also learned I didn’t have to do it alone. When I said the word, my big brother was there, every step of the way with me. Even my younger brother was with me as we texted our sick humour to get through the time.

I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and kids; my mom and my brothers, nieces & nephews, grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins; my BFF’s, hockey & soccer families; my memories of my dad; my SIL’s bone marrow transplant was a success and she is still here shining her bright light on all of us.

I won’t make resolutions. I’m going to make plans and write down goals. Some I’ll achieve and some I won’t. I promise though, to always be, Me. (shush, that’s not a threat!!).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I hope you are all blessed with love, light & happiness. Always remember how loved you are.



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‘Tis the Season (Week 14 & 15)

Merry Christmas!

Week 14 found me up 0.3 lbs and week 15 I managed to stay even. This was a feat in itself considering the sheer number of snaccidents that happened.

Is it me or did the final holiday lunch/potluck push start last week? It’s easier for me to resist the foods since most don’t know I am gluten free or have Celiac Disease. Some simply admitted they forgot. It seems like the holiday season has become one GIANT food extravaganza!

Why can’t we celebrate in ways other than ingesting copious amounts of food. Ugh. While I watched a smorgasbord of food be consumed at our annual potluck here at work this past week, I stuck to a small 1/2 c. bowl of chili (although I probably shouldn’t have because I suspect it had wheat), pulled pork, rice, and a salad that I made so I know its ok for me.

I also made 2 batches of Peppermint Bark, a recipe from M. I brought most of it to work and it seems very popular with this crowd. You want to hear something weird??  I haven’t tried any yet.

I’m trying to be good and make wise, mindful decisions. Tips this past week at our meeting were: Eat healthy before going out to the party, do not sit in front of the food, eat until satisfied, pre-plan what you want to eat, drink tons of water…and if all else fails, tomorrow is another day.

Please, be safe. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE.

Have a safe & Happy Holiday Season. Hug your loved ones and let them know what they mean to you.



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Weight Watchers Week 12

I’m a couple of days late…it’s been pretty hectic around home and work. I ran up to WW on Wednesday afternoon for WI Day, I was prepared to accept my gain for reasons I own (unfortunate accident with chocolate disappearing – into my tummy) and “that time”. I was surprised to find I was down 1.8 lbs for a total of 15.9 lbs to date.

My activity last week netted me 101 FitPoints, 191 minutes of activity and 60K steps. Last week Thursday was American Thanksgiving. I had a half day at work on Friday. My first thought was – I’ll head to the mall and do some Christmas shopping but then it dawned on me – Black Friday. No thanks. Guess what I did instead? I went to the gym for 2 hours! I was the only woman in there among all these older men. I didn’t care, nor did I let it intimidate me. I ran the dreadmill and used all the machines!

I’m making progress all over the place.

Going into my weigh-in, I thought to my self, “Self, no matter what this says, I already won this week.”  Now, I know you’re asking me why. It’s because I crushed some major goals this week. I managed to get over a hurdle with my C25K App, I realized that I can do things with my body that I couldn’t do before (get your mind out of the gutter) such as those PiYO/Yoga moves. Rather than a single leg dog – I used to look like “dog peeing on hydrant”. Now, I can perform these moves well and hold for a period of time.

More progress.

I’m not living my life on the scale, although it’s been a positive side effect. I’m now running for almost 30 mins straight, seeing my pace get faster, seeing my flexibility increase and seeing the muscles more than the jiggle. It’s been said it before; the number on the scale is only my numerical effect on gravity; it doesn’t show you that I am beautiful, and loved, and awesome.

Have a great week – I know I will.



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Weight Watchers Week 11

WI Day….down 2.3 for a total of 14.1. More than 5% of my body weight GONE! Ah, Ba-Bye!

I can already hear you asking; “Steph, what did you do differently this week?” and I’ll respond: TRACKING! I tracked my food (even the GF/Nut free Cheesecake that R always makes and is Ah-MAZING!!) and I also stepped up the fitness. Last week netted me 73 FitPoints; this week I was back up to 101 FitPoints and 62.5K steps.

I had a conversation with M at work (no, not M from James Bond, silly). She’s been jogging with a “learn to run” group in her town via The Running Room. We chatted about her progress and how I feel stalled. I use a C25K app to build up the endurance. I felt stuck on this one set/day that I was on. Picture this, I’m at the gym; I get on the dreadmill; I pick the random hill mode and off I go (ha – atleast picture me slim and gorgeous with my long flowing blonde hair, without knots, sweat and missing eyebrows that I rubbed off). In this mode, the dreadmill changes the incline randomly to give me the most of the run. I had read an article a little while ago that said to get the benefits of being on a dreadmill, you need to be at minimum 1% incline. So after this chat with M, I went to the gym at the rec centre while A practiced and hit the dreadmill at a 1% incline following my C25K app which had alternating intervals of 90 seconds run, 90 seconds walk; 3 minutes run, 3 minutes walk plus warm-up and cool down for 5 mins each. I hadn’t been able to complete this day on the hill mode, but I crushed it on 1% incline. Not just on Friday – but on Sunday too!! Woo Hoo! Friday I also did a circuit of arms for an hour, Sunday I did a little bit of legs (practice was shorter Sunday). Man, was I sore this weekend.

I picked up new runners and orthotics and now I have to get used to them. I tried a the same run from above last night with the new equipment and lasted just over 8 minutes before putting on my Saucony’s to finish out my mostly walk. Then  I moved to arms and core with the bowflex, TRX and Bosu. Man, this is fun (even though I hate running).

Next week – lets see if I can earn 117 FitPoints and 63K steps…challenge accepted.



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Weight Watchers Week 10

WI day, up +0.7. Not necessarily what I was expecting, so, let’s see what went wrong.

Oh right! I was a lazy bum this week. I hit 73 activity points (compared to the 101-116 in past weeks!?!) and 47.6K steps.

Monday, I dragged my lazy bum to the basement after E‘s practice to the dreadmill for a 31:02 walk/run (OK, so mostly walk). On Tuesday I did a workout that I’m still feeling today (two days later). I need to update this into arms and try this at the gym! For those who follow my Instagram, as promised, here is the workout that inspired last nights post: workout

The topics at last nights meeting (that I’ve now dubbed “group therapy”), was sleep. According to my FitBit, I get anywhere from 5.5-6.5 hours of sleep a night. My sleep is very restless. I can be restless up to 50+ times per night which can deprive me of up to 1.5 hours of sleep a night.  I rarely watch TV, but I read. Alot. I always read in bed and always on my iPad. Our Leader (gosh, I sound like I’ve been abducted my aliens wanting to meet my leader – no wonder I’m in Group Therapy! 😉  )…where was I? Oh Yes. Our Leader said our house should have zones. The kitchen is ONLY for eating – nowhere else in the house. The bedroom is for sleeping (and nocturnal activities; *wink, wink*) – nothing else. It got me thinking. I should only read in the Living Room where there are no distractions and my fave faux fur throw – no where else. The Family room is for TV – nothing else. Let’s give this a try this week and see if my sleep is any better. Also, close the kitchen after dinner. Which I adopted  a few weeks ago. Another suggestion was to write down thoughts/to do’s before going to bed. If you’re like me and sometimes have too much on your mind before sleeping, I keep a notepad beside my bed to write stuff down. It’s helped me get the worrying thoughts out of my head so that I can fall asleep and get a better nights rest.

My goal for this week – get back to my activity!! I’m going to push the running harder and less of the hill work when on the dreadmill. Have a great week!